Everyone knows when you shake a soda bottle and try to open it, it explodes.
I, like a shaken soda bottle, exploded.
I have lived with what I thought was a depression and anxiety issue for a couple years now. And have finally concluded that it is an anxiety and confidence issue. I have, what I call a fucking roof, over my head that won’t let me reach beyond what I think I can reach. Who is to blame for this? ME. I am my own worst enemy.
Every so often I get into fights with my parents over my life goals/health goals. To them, I tend to fail at commitments for success and put family off over friends. I do admit at my younger stages of life that I did put friends and fun over family most of the time. That’s now in the past and I am better with it. You live and you learn.
BUT today, I popped.
I was shaken and it was inevitable that I was going to be opened before 2016. I said things I shouldn’t have said. I raised my voice higher than it should have been. I lost control and lost my place. My dad said two words that should never be said to a son. I will not disclose those words, but it didn’t effect me as much as it should have because I knew that I was the one who pulled those words out of him. Whats done is done. Moving on.
I get these conversations about life/work/health all the time, but this one put me over the top. Mainly because its about to be 2016 and I am entering my 27th year of life. TIME TO GET SHIT TOGETHER.
My mom ended the conversation with…
“You are the only person that can break that roof and instill the confidence you need to reach beyond”
and you know what? She’s right.
So for 2016 I will do what I gotta do, the way I gotta do it. People are going to talk and sometimes it may be discouraging but you know what..