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It could get a boring, so I don’t blame you for not finishing.  

Post Numero Dos – Self-Realization.

I personally believe that everyone has many moments in their lives where they are smacked in the face with “reality”.
That moment where you are forced to sit down and re-evaluate where you are in life and ask yourself “Are you happy with where you are right now?”.

I, at halfway past my 26th year of age, have finally been smacked with this question more times than I can count in the past couple weeks. I know that I probably should have been thinking about my future from the time I graduated high school, but being the dummy I was.. never cared about the my future and only worried about what was the next fun thing I had planned.

I once thought I had plans for myself.. like moving to the Bay area after college to start fresh in life. That never happened. I tend to set unreachable goals for myself, for example the Bay area move, and can never follow through with any of them. It’s very discouraging because I do genuinely want to do these things, but something always ends up coming up that keeps me from it. Excuses, Excuses I know because I am the only one who can stop me from doing me, right?

With every failed plan, came a new plan, creating a sense of “It’s okay Johnny, better luck next time” and that I will succeed next time. This eventually became a big repetition bringing me back to square one every single time. What I didn’t realize was that every time that I went back to square one, my self-esteem and courage was at a lower level than it was previously. Everything eventually started to become IMPOSSIBLE, or at least that was my mentality for a while.

At this very point in my life I am still not perfect in any way. I have come to accept that fact and learned to surround myself with positive energy and to keep looking up. Funny right? cause for those who know me, I am a pretty negative person (more on this in the next post – Eps: 3 How Johnny lost his heart) LOL. I’ve learned not to set the bar too high for myself so that if I need to fall it will not be as bad. I have an awesome support system consisted of a loving family and awesome friends.

So to answer the question from the beginning, Am I happy with where I am at right now? I am far from being happy with where I am and I am happy that I’m not because I’m still climbing the ladder to success.

Sorry, if this post started to steer off into boredom and I know this is EVERY person’s problem at one point in their lives and what makes me so important that I have to write about it. I do this to vent and remind myself to get back on track. I’ve probably hit a wall lately and need to let this out so I can finally get over it.

There are so many things I want to write about and could have unleashed it all into this one post but that wouldn’t be fun. AND if you really read everything and got to this point of the post — GOD BLESS YOUR SOUL.

That is all for now, TIL NEXT EPISODE Y’ALL.