Goodbye 2015.
Another year gone, another set of lessons learned or relearned.
Thank you to those who stayed or left. Thank you to those to come.
2016.. I’m Ready.
Sincerely,
J.L.
Everyone knows when you shake a soda bottle and try to open it, it explodes.
I, like a shaken soda bottle, exploded.
I have lived with what I thought was a depression and anxiety issue for a couple years now. And have finally concluded that it is an anxiety and confidence issue. I have, what I call a fucking roof, over my head that won’t let me reach beyond what I think I can reach. Who is to blame for this? ME. I am my own worst enemy.
Every so often I get into fights with my parents over my life goals/health goals. To them, I tend to fail at commitments for success and put family off over friends. I do admit at my younger stages of life that I did put friends and fun over family most of the time. That’s now in the past and I am better with it. You live and you learn.
BUT today, I popped.
I was shaken and it was inevitable that I was going to be opened before 2016. I said things I shouldn’t have said. I raised my voice higher than it should have been. I lost control and lost my place. My dad said two words that should never be said to a son. I will not disclose those words, but it didn’t effect me as much as it should have because I knew that I was the one who pulled those words out of him. Whats done is done. Moving on.
I get these conversations about life/work/health all the time, but this one put me over the top. Mainly because its about to be 2016 and I am entering my 27th year of life. TIME TO GET SHIT TOGETHER.
My mom ended the conversation with…
“You are the only person that can break that roof and instill the confidence you need to reach beyond”
and you know what? She’s right.
So for 2016 I will do what I gotta do, the way I gotta do it. People are going to talk and sometimes it may be discouraging but you know what..
F the critics.
I think its time to find a hobby.
I’ve been itching to use my GoPro and DSLR more often these days. So to do so I’ve created a list of things to buy for them so that I’d have more fun using them.
First up on the list..
ROXANT PRO video camera stabilizer
Cant wait to start shooting with it. Especially while going up Sugarloaf.
Viewer Discretion Advised
It could get a boring, so I don’t blame you for not finishing.
Post Numero Dos – Self-Realization.
I personally believe that everyone has many moments in their lives where they are smacked in the face with “reality”.
That moment where you are forced to sit down and re-evaluate where you are in life and ask yourself “Are you happy with where you are right now?”.
I, at halfway past my 26th year of age, have finally been smacked with this question more times than I can count in the past couple weeks. I know that I probably should have been thinking about my future from the time I graduated high school, but being the dummy I was.. never cared about the my future and only worried about what was the next fun thing I had planned.
I once thought I had plans for myself.. like moving to the Bay area after college to start fresh in life. That never happened. I tend to set unreachable goals for myself, for example the Bay area move, and can never follow through with any of them. It’s very discouraging because I do genuinely want to do these things, but something always ends up coming up that keeps me from it. Excuses, Excuses I know because I am the only one who can stop me from doing me, right?
With every failed plan, came a new plan, creating a sense of “It’s okay Johnny, better luck next time” and that I will succeed next time. This eventually became a big repetition bringing me back to square one every single time. What I didn’t realize was that every time that I went back to square one, my self-esteem and courage was at a lower level than it was previously. Everything eventually started to become IMPOSSIBLE, or at least that was my mentality for a while.
At this very point in my life I am still not perfect in any way. I have come to accept that fact and learned to surround myself with positive energy and to keep looking up. Funny right? cause for those who know me, I am a pretty negative person (more on this in the next post – Eps: 3 How Johnny lost his heart) LOL. I’ve learned not to set the bar too high for myself so that if I need to fall it will not be as bad. I have an awesome support system consisted of a loving family and awesome friends.
So to answer the question from the beginning, Am I happy with where I am at right now? I am far from being happy with where I am and I am happy that I’m not because I’m still climbing the ladder to success.
Sorry, if this post started to steer off into boredom and I know this is EVERY person’s problem at one point in their lives and what makes me so important that I have to write about it. I do this to vent and remind myself to get back on track. I’ve probably hit a wall lately and need to let this out so I can finally get over it.
There are so many things I want to write about and could have unleashed it all into this one post but that wouldn’t be fun. AND if you really read everything and got to this point of the post — GOD BLESS YOUR SOUL.
That is all for now, TIL NEXT EPISODE Y’ALL.
I think I’ve tried to start this “FIRST” post thing many times but failed.
Lets try this one last time.
If you’re reading this right now you either
- cared enough to be still following me while I idled out a bit.
- Found the link I subtly put somewhere for people to fall upon one day lol
- are so bored out of your mind that you fell upon my page but probably wont finish reading.
Either way, I dee gaaf how or why you are here right now, just know I appreciate that you are.
Today. October 26, 2015, marks the day that I, Juanny Luong, will start venting, I mean writing to ease
and express my mind. This may include vent sessions, pictures, videos (so I can make use of my gopro)
and many other things. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, if you so happen to notice that I’ve gone on hiatus again
please kindly remind me that I am paying for this and I should keep up with it. lol
That is all for now. Till the next episode y’all.
My Peace of Mind. 